you're a strange man, christopher
Forgive the length of this post. I figured since SFB is officially on hiatus, you all need something to tide you over.
As some of you may know, I have a cottage on the Ottawa River up near Pembroke where I just spent the past two weeks. Besides being incredibly relaxing and keeping me from posting anything, the visit yielded an interesting tidbit: old Slang Teasers sheets from when the inimitable Chris last visited our humble establishment.
Slang Teasers is exactly like Balderdash, and basically what you do is get a bunch of people together, have one of them choose from a dictionary of little-used words, and then everybody writes a definition for that word. Then they're read out and people try to guess which definition is the correct one. In this case, though, I have no idea what the correct one is and I don't even know if these are all the sheets from that particular game: I'm just going to post them because they're freakin funny. I'll write the word, followed by definitions from C (for Chris), N (for yours truly), and K (for my sister Kate, who was also in on this little round of debauchery). We may have been drinking. We may not. I honestly can't remember.
{ahem}
GROGHAM:
C: a contemptuous term for a horse
N: the feeling one gets the morning after 5 pitchers, 5 shots, and 5 punches to the head
K: another term for an elderly person who has very little joy left
MOHICIAN:
C: a hairstylist who specializes in mohawks
N: a really fat guy
K: one who requires more water on a daily basis than an average person
PARAM:
C: an extinct, six foot tall ancestor of the modern pit bull
N: one aspect of a larger problem
K: that random guy you always see on Rideau Street
SLUBBERDEGULLION:
C: bird excrement (or "slubber") from the small French town of Gullion, considered a delicacy in many Spanish cities.
N: the servant who swabs a ship's deck
K: a dirty, nasty old man
FROUST:
C: extra sleep taken on Sundays and holidays
N: a German strip-search performed by overweight government officials
K: to make a facial expression similar to a frown, but meaner
SPATCH COCK:
C: a rooster that has died from sexual exhaustion
N: a bird killed and prepared quickly
K: name wives use to demean husbands with unsightly (borderline hideous) genitalia
CATOLLER:
C: sounds emitted during household bestiality
N: one who carefully stretches live cats to various tensions, then strikes them with a mallet to produce music
K: one of those random things you find after a large drunken party
TRUFFLE:
C: the scientifically correct term for a soiled mattress
N: a mushroom found by trained pigs
K: an edible fungus found underground
TO HAVE A COLT'S TOOTH:
C: to keep a young horse's molar in a jar in your sock drawer where you hope no one will ever find it, especially not your cruel, ex-military father
N: to have an unprecedented sexual appetite for horse's mouths
K: to have a desire for the simple pleasures of childhood
DRURY LANE AGUE:
C: a venereal disease
N: how a specific street in downtown London tastes, when licked after a light rain during which the storm sewers have overflowed
K: an ailment in which one suffers rather large and weepy sores in unspeakable regions of the body
MISCEGENATION:
C: a horrible misunderstanding involving a flea collar, three pounds of shrimp, an extinct botswanian tree frog, and a Vietnamese prostitute
N: when people of different races get it on
K: fat children that insist on spanking each other with large wooden spoons
MEDIUS:
N: the average number of people enrolled in a military academy
C: just incredibly fucking great. you know?
As some of you may know, I have a cottage on the Ottawa River up near Pembroke where I just spent the past two weeks. Besides being incredibly relaxing and keeping me from posting anything, the visit yielded an interesting tidbit: old Slang Teasers sheets from when the inimitable Chris last visited our humble establishment.
Slang Teasers is exactly like Balderdash, and basically what you do is get a bunch of people together, have one of them choose from a dictionary of little-used words, and then everybody writes a definition for that word. Then they're read out and people try to guess which definition is the correct one. In this case, though, I have no idea what the correct one is and I don't even know if these are all the sheets from that particular game: I'm just going to post them because they're freakin funny. I'll write the word, followed by definitions from C (for Chris), N (for yours truly), and K (for my sister Kate, who was also in on this little round of debauchery). We may have been drinking. We may not. I honestly can't remember.
{ahem}
GROGHAM:
C: a contemptuous term for a horse
N: the feeling one gets the morning after 5 pitchers, 5 shots, and 5 punches to the head
K: another term for an elderly person who has very little joy left
MOHICIAN:
C: a hairstylist who specializes in mohawks
N: a really fat guy
K: one who requires more water on a daily basis than an average person
PARAM:
C: an extinct, six foot tall ancestor of the modern pit bull
N: one aspect of a larger problem
K: that random guy you always see on Rideau Street
SLUBBERDEGULLION:
C: bird excrement (or "slubber") from the small French town of Gullion, considered a delicacy in many Spanish cities.
N: the servant who swabs a ship's deck
K: a dirty, nasty old man
FROUST:
C: extra sleep taken on Sundays and holidays
N: a German strip-search performed by overweight government officials
K: to make a facial expression similar to a frown, but meaner
SPATCH COCK:
C: a rooster that has died from sexual exhaustion
N: a bird killed and prepared quickly
K: name wives use to demean husbands with unsightly (borderline hideous) genitalia
CATOLLER:
C: sounds emitted during household bestiality
N: one who carefully stretches live cats to various tensions, then strikes them with a mallet to produce music
K: one of those random things you find after a large drunken party
TRUFFLE:
C: the scientifically correct term for a soiled mattress
N: a mushroom found by trained pigs
K: an edible fungus found underground
TO HAVE A COLT'S TOOTH:
C: to keep a young horse's molar in a jar in your sock drawer where you hope no one will ever find it, especially not your cruel, ex-military father
N: to have an unprecedented sexual appetite for horse's mouths
K: to have a desire for the simple pleasures of childhood
DRURY LANE AGUE:
C: a venereal disease
N: how a specific street in downtown London tastes, when licked after a light rain during which the storm sewers have overflowed
K: an ailment in which one suffers rather large and weepy sores in unspeakable regions of the body
MISCEGENATION:
C: a horrible misunderstanding involving a flea collar, three pounds of shrimp, an extinct botswanian tree frog, and a Vietnamese prostitute
N: when people of different races get it on
K: fat children that insist on spanking each other with large wooden spoons
MEDIUS:
N: the average number of people enrolled in a military academy
C: just incredibly fucking great. you know?
