don't do this

Cyclists have been out in droves on the streets of Montreal lately, taking advantage of these last few days of warm weather before September waltzes in, half a month late. This is heartening for me as one who is in favour of cycling, but it's also infuriating because all other cyclists are jerks.

And so I offer this one request to any of our cycle-minded readers, which will not do me any good: If you pull up to a corner and I am stopped in front of you, do not pull up beside me. Do not, under any circumstances, pass me before the light changes. I am probably the fastest thing on two non-motorized wheels and I will just end up stuck behind you for another block, silently wishing you terrible ills.

And for anyone who has ever been passed by me, but then pulled up in front of me at an intersection knowing full well that they are slower, I can only say this: I hate you so bad.

You know who you are, lady with the red helmet from today.

You know.