it's not so

I'm coming out of my own unannounced, perpetual semi-retirement to mention the funniest short I've seen. It's inane. It's juvenile. The main character's only features are his age and his accent. It will not teach you anything useful, and has been decried by several of my friends as a waste of 7 minutes of your life. And I think it's hilarious. So go watch it.

retirement

Hello the Internet,

I am officially retiring for a while; actually, I retired a few weeks back, I just didn't tell anyone. I will come back if:

(a) the Internet stops being boring and geeky all the time;

(b) the word "blog" ceases to exist, or they stop giving awards to blogs and calling them "the bloggies";

or (c) everyone stops using the word "zen" to refer to something other than zen buddhism.

These are my demands. If they are not met, be prepared to face the consequences: me not writing on this website anymore. You've been warned.

With a love that will echo through the ages,
Chris

it came from outer space

NASA has been a busy bee lately. The Cassini probe has found liquid water on Enceladus, one of Saturn's moons. That's pretty huge, since where there's water there tends to be, well, life.

The Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has successfully entered martian orbit! The satellite carries the most powerful science payload ever sent to another planet, and is capable of taking surface photographs with 1m resolution and using radar to probe for water up to a kilometer deep. Let's hope the little green men aren't 0.9m tall and living in caves two kilometers deep.

A couple weeks ago, NASA announced its budget for '07. It includes additional funding to cover cost overruns on the space shuttle and international space station - money that comes at the expense of science programs like the Hubble servicing mission and probes to further explore the solar system. It's not possible for NASA to do all of these things at once because Congress has frozen its budget to a measly 3% increase over last year's $16.4 billion - not enough to keep pace with inflation. Sure, $16B sounds like a lot of scratch. Until you remember that Bush is currently requesting another $65 billion to fund the war in Iraq, which will bring the total well over $400 billion. Oh, did I mention that the two missions mentioned above were approved and funded long before the war began? Enough said.

bouncing balls

Friend and fellow would-be physicist Liz points us at this Bravia commercial which you may very well have already seen: balls bouncing down a San Francisco street. It's even more fun to watch knowing that it's all completely real - not done on computers. Just sit back and feel your mind comfortably melting.

dan kennedy solves your problems with paper, and other pieces

Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency is sometimes very funny, but that's usually when Dan Kennedy has written something. Rather than searching through their archives for his name, here's an index of everything he's ever written for the site. Or, if you only have a few seconds, read some of their lists.

juggling vs the beatles

Yesterday Jared posted a video about curling. Today I'm posting one about juggling. Maybe we should change our name from "Small Flightless Bird" to "YouTube Videos of Nerdy Non-Sports". Anyway, enjoy!

warbears

Here's a fun new flash game for you to play: Warbears. It's along the lines of the previously-mentioned Samorost and Hapland games, where you have to find the right sequence of clicks. This one's the best so far, though, with mini-games and unlockable bonuses. And no, I don't know how to get the friendship bonus, so please don't email me. (Check the creater's forum for a good walkthrough.)